I really enjoy creating visual art. I wasn’t born with that talent, I’m pretty sure. But I’ve always wished I had it. My parents sent all my siblings to art lessons and piano lessons when we were kids. I remember my art classes on Saturday (sometimes it was Sunday) mornings and we’d learn how to colour with crayons. Or make crafts- those were my favourite days. In fact, I think that’s when I learnt what determination meant.
It can be difficult to find the proper materials to make certain stuff, especially if you’re a child. I’d have all the craft books available but lack the tools to build them. Cardboard, PVC glue, you name it. However, a child’s world is not narrow, not at all. If child-me wanted to make all those pretty boxes and jewellery so much, she’d find the materials for it. It didn’t matter if the materials were not exactly the same, she’d manipulate it to give the same results.
I want to make it, so I’ll definitely find a way to do it. My thinking was somewhere along those lines as a child and it’s something I took with me into adulthood.
Anyway, back to those art classes, my teacher didn’t exactly teach us how to draw. We were given examples of her art pieces and then told to reproduce it. Of course, she taught colouring techniques- the basics, nothing more. We were told to look, and then copy. I ended up being really good at drawing something someone else had drawn, but not something I’ve imagined on my own. It was kind of frustrating.
But I still really wanted to be able to draw.
So I drew and drew and drew.
I’m still not quite there yet but I looked back at my old art pieces and I couldn’t feel more prouder for myself. Child me would have been ecstatic that I’ve gotten this far now!
Digressing here, but oftentimes I get the feeling that I live in a very competitive environment- at school, especially. Anything less than perfection is only given a quick glance before wordlessly moving on (exception is given to academic performance and some other aspects deemed important and relevant). After a certain age, people stop taking note of your efforts and look only at your end results. Perfection or garbage. Even if they were impressed, they’d say nothing. That would be like admitting someone is better than you. It was a very narrow place, almost to the point of suffocating.
When you live in a place like that- the process of improving, of failing and getting up again. You have to do it by yourself, mostly. And it can be very lonely at times. I’m really grateful that the child me, she kept on going. She gave up some things, like dancing and instruments. But some things, she held on so tightly, refusing to let anyone pry it away from her little fingers. And I’m grateful that at times, home was a reprieve.
I did go through a certain phase where I held academic performance above all else, convincing myself that I didn’t have artistic ability, but that’s another story.
Most importantly, I got here today. Opened my heart and refused to lie to myself any longer. I’ll do what makes me happy. I’ll do what gives meaning to my life.
I set up an art Instagram account so that I could join the online art community! It makes me so happy that such a community exists where people give support and encouragement to strangers. Your art could look like trash and yet, they would be people who give you kind words. Anything is better than cold indifference.
Feel free to follow me on Instagram! LittleMissMewMew
I find the concept of Art Trades especially fun because not only you’d be challenged to draw something different, you’d get the satisfaction of making at least one person happy. And you get an artwork in return! How cool is that!
Some art trades I’ve done with Instagram artists:
First one is an art trade with kinejay who wanted me to draw Yuna from Maplestory. And the next is vixprin’s OC Chiyu~
Took me some long years but I get it now. The world isn’t narrow. It has no shape and yet, it has all the shapes- all at once. It can be tight here, but wider there- with space to breathe and run and play. The narrow bits, keep working on it. It make take a while to push back the walls but never, ever, let it become narrower and narrower and close that path completely.
Aaaaand digressing for a bit more:
The writer’s block still plagues me. I wish I could write at least a few pages; ideas have been going in and out of my mind but I’m somehow lacking the energy to catch them and lay it all out in words. I’ve been playing Tales of Zestiria in hopes that the game could inspire me to write something but it looks like that’s unlikely to happen.
However, it did motivate me to draw a few fanarts because I simply love the design of the characters and of course, the plot. It’s engaging and fun and for once, I’m not just sitting around in my room waiting for time to pass me by until something happens. I especially enjoy Rose and Dezel’s interactions but they’ll have to wait~ Please play the game, it’s so entertaining and fun!!
If anyone wants to send me an art request or even better- do an art trade with me, I’d be happy to! Not only it’s good practice, I get to make friends from all over so win-win ❤