Language Barrier

I wonder what happened
In the years between
and Now.

Did it not tug on your heart-
When I stopped telling you about my day?
There was a time
it silenced my treacherous thoughts
it quelled my darkest demons
You were my confidant
my best friend
my sword and shield

When apart, all I wanted was to return

That night-
This little heart quivered
I would never forget:
your voice
those words
And the tremble in my shoulders

I waited a day
And before I knew it time had passed
My fingers still reached out to you
Noise crackled in my mind; restless-
When I saw you again, I’d wished, I’d hoped:
Are you okay?’ you’d ask.

Your spine was straight
Your shoulders were loose
Your gaze passed over me
And I realised those words won’t come-
Because it made no difference to you.

I don’t understand
I don’t understand
I don’t understand

Many years I’ve tried-
but we speak different languages
And I’m choking on words without translation

I have stories in my soul
and poems on my lips
With a writer’s loneliness
Bearing down
In a blind world

They say: actions speak louder than words
Here I am; lungs on fire-
But you only hear the ringing bells, the singing chimes.

You hurt my heart
You hurt my heart
And yet, I still love you

-Farah A. Zaihan
11.50 p.m. 13/7/16
Penang, Malaysia


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